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to love is not a sin...
The Queen of My Heart.
October 17, 2012

My relationship with my mom has always been perfect.
I was able to tell her anything (to an extent) and we'd spend countless hours talking about anything and everything. But recently, all that we've ever been doing is arguing and having a lack of communication. She doesn't make the time to talk to me anymore and whenever there is an opportunity to open up to her, there is always that sense of judgement. I admit that I am growing up and I have been wanting to hang out with my friends more but that doesn't mean I don't make time for my family either. I've been able to tell my dad a lot more things because he understands and makes time for me. My mom still sees me as her little girl and although that's not a bad thing and is understandable, she pushes me away by not listening to the things I have to say now. The feeling of being judged by someone you love dearly is the worst. She just recently said to me, " Why does everything have to be about FUN with you?! You know, it seems like lately, all we do is fight." All I wanted to do was just tell her that she couldn't accept that I was growing up and all she was doing was pushing me away but I knew that would be a never-ending argument. Communication is key in every relationship. I just want her to hear me out and listen to me!


I miss my mom. 


happiness.
March 01, 2012

I wanna be able to finish a phone call or conversation from you and just say, "I'm so in love with my boyfriend."

Every conversation now is ended off with an argument. I'm tired of it, I really am.
I keep wondering if it's just me over reacting but I really don't think so. Do I make you cry? Do I make you worry about me? Do I make you feel insecure? I don't think so. I'm pretty sure I do everything I can to avoid those things. But why am I crying? Why do I worry about you and why do I feel insecure?

We weren't like this is the beginning, but of course not, we're never like this in the beginning.
It starts off all happy go lucky, then things start to change. The effort isn't shown as much and the arguments increase. Somehow I know this is gonna happen every time before we get back together, but a part of me hopes and wishes that things change. I'm tired of knowing what will happen with us and the fact that I always have to post these entries about you.